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Do not Disturb |
Aloft |
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Whispers of a wind to lift you off the ground, |
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In the fullness of time, when it’s all waxed and waned |
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He kept to his own company last night |
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I reorganised the diary, I had pencilled in a window for us to meet, though I knew that you’d be dancing to a different beat when you showed up. I was ready for whatever psychodrama you’d got in store yeah we both knew thaty we’d been through this before.. Check the time and motion, put a stopwatch on the story and don’t look back as we lock in to our repetitious act. You’re the eager beaver, keen to make a mark, I’m a true believer, whistling in the dark, building up the fever. Over and over we go through the motions, hold on the notion one day it might change. Try not to show it but we’re lost in the moment meanwhile I try to hang on to the ghost of a chance, falling through my fingers. Season by season we seek an agreement beyond rhyme and reason, however estranged. Meeting and greeting, our time here is fleeting. Meanwhile we wheel around in an impression of dance. Falling through our fingers, it’s all falling through our fingers. What d’you really want? Dare you ever say what you really want? Watch it slip away.... And the moral of the story if there’s one at all is, surely, to get a grip on what’s forever falling through our fingers, forever falling through our fingertips. You’re the eager beaver, keen to make a mark, I’m a true believer, whistling in the dark. What a pair of divas! What a pair of bright sparks! |
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I
don’t want to talk about the old days any more, I’ve set aside all the unsettled scores but nonetheless the past still casts a shadow on me. I could walk away without a second glance, the way things panned out down to random chance but nonetheless the logic’s far beyond me. Oh no, I guess I must have said yes Oh no, I must have said yes. So now I find I’m in a parlous place, repenting at leisure for what I did in haste, all my past promises are catching up on me. Oh no, I guess I must have said yes although I’m inclined to digress I know I must have said yes. And if blame’s attached to anybody it’ll be me, I’m the one who said that I agree. I apologise to everybody, what else can I do? Now I’ll do my best to see it through, I’ve got no other option. No excuses, no stewing in my juices, denial is useless, holy cow, with precision my everyday decisions have led me tobe in the nere and now. I’ll be right here and now for what it’s worth hoist on my own petard as I am... yeah let’s not talk about the old days except to say the consequences run, to be plain, what’s over isn’t done and you thought you were only having fun. Oh no, I guess I must have said yes although I was under duress I know I must have said yes. Though I don’t know quite what happened to me, how the story went, somewhere on the way I gave consent. |
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Named,
the day and date, picked, the place and time to meet, set, the words I uttered in stone. To right the many wrongs, that I’ve done along the way now the ball’s in my own court. Angels hide in the inglenook. Saints alive, I’ll be brought to book. One false move was all it took. All the wicked thoughts will be brought to book. I’m not proud of what I did before, I acknowledge all my actions nonetheless. Undiminished, the returning score, I played my part in any sins I now confess. All that’s done is done, and all that comes along the way lands up in the lap of the gods. One false step, one last look, under time and tide I’ll be brought to book. I never thought I’d get to see this through, the cold documented case. One by one the arguments fall through, the past stares me in the face, never thought I’d see it through. Here it is, the self-obsession and surrender, here it is, it’s right in front of me, here it is, the package gets returned to sender here, with interest, it comes back to me. I never thought I’d see it through. Finally wearing history naked on my face I’ll disclose the truth of what I’ve done, reveal the lines I’ve spun in passing, I will face up to the music and with what breath’s left in my lungs I’ll settle up the score and bid farewell to everyone. Time to square the circle, time to dot the “i”s and cross the “t”s, time to keep on working to unspot the hand that did the deeds, to wash out the wounding, to effect a final remedy. In the last accounting all the sum of parts in threnody. I’m not proud of who I’ve been before. I’ve no pride in what I’ve done before. Time alone holds what’s in store. I’m gathered in by hook or by crook all in due course I’ll be brought to book. |
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These are almost the words I intended to say, this so nearly makes sense. Although the cut’s too close for comfort language goes eventually astray. There goes the neighbourhood under the flood and comprehension’s culled and clustered round the sudden onrush of hot blood. And in imprecision we are all lost for words. All lost, alas, alack, all points alarm, sounding out the sweet sargasso sea of language we are all becalmed. So close, almost the words but nearly isn’t clear and drains our understanding of the overheard. In incomprehension we are all lost for words, all at last lost for words, all at last’s lost, we are all lost for words. At last you come round to believe what you heard as circumstance found you lost for words. The secret’s unspoken, the sense is absurd, the safety net’s broken, lost for words. |
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There’s
the thing, hold it close. You had your fling, you laid your ghosts. Time to leave, close the door. You can’t believe you wanted more, more or less, all for the best in the end it’s all behind you. There’s the thing, for all you know it’s time to let go. |
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Now the |
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